Even though I've always known I wanted him back and made no secret about it, it is still a devastating feeling to get the "call". Actually, this time was a little different because I didn't actually receive the call as CCI called one of my co-raisers, who then called me. Something I was not expecting, though I don't know how one can ever "expect" something like this.
They say the pups make their own decisions, the ones that want to "work" and be a service dog will do well in the kennel environment, the ones that don't will somehow communicate this to their trainers which will end up in their release from the program. Nick has been moved to different programs (service, then hearing, then service again) and has had 3 different trainers. I guess he'd had enough and wanted to come home.
Luckily for us, he was able to come home the evening he was released as a friend was able to bring him back for us from the CCI campus in Santa Rosa. He greeted us with a wiggly butt and that same sweet personality we all knew and loved, it was soooooo good to see him again. But with his release, comes the end of a dream, having another graduate that performs a miracle for someone with a disability. As much as I wanted him back, I know deep down I always hoped he would graduate, its all bittersweet and a mix of emotions that is hard to explain unless you've gone through it.
When we got home, Nick bounded through the house checking everything out and immediately picked up a toy in his mouth. Hope was a little indifferent to him at first like he was any other dog, much different than the reaction she had to Sierra just a few weeks before where they acted like they did when Sierra still lived here. But after a while it was like the light bulb popped off and she finally started playing with him like she used to. It was so cute as Nick totally remembered his stuffed red heart toy I had saved that he got as a present from our friend Rachel on the day he arrived as a puppy. I guess they don't forget.
His personality seems the same, that sweet, cuddly, affectionate boy is still there. He seems a little taller and maybe a little filled out than what I remember, but I don't know if I have just forgotten how big he was since Hope is so small. I have found that you often forget some of the little details about the pups you have raised when you don't see them for many months. Hope has this one gray hair on her back that she had as a small pup, when she came home, I had forgotten that. I let Nick sleep on the bed with me on his first night home, but I had totally forgotten how LOUD he snored. Oh well, its so nice to have him back, I'll forgive him! haha
This is a picture of Nick and Hope on his first night home:
This was taken a couple of nights ago...I guess this says it all, he is home! And Hope and I love having him back in our lives.
And a video of him playing with his favorite heart toy...(sorry for the TV noise, I thought when I put the movie together I had put music in to replace the sound, guess not, and I'm too lazy to re-do it....)
Nick, although I'm disappointed you didn't graduate, I'm thrilled to have you back. The decision was all yours and we will have a wonderful life together.
I also have to throw a shout-out to my wonderful co-raisers, Kathy and Gloria. A long time ago, we made the decision that if Nick was released, he'd come live with me as they already had two dogs and didn't really have room for one more. I know Nick's release was as hard for them as it was for me, but in some ways his release was even harder for them as they had to give up Nick again. They will always be a part of Nick's life and we've always agreed that they can have "visitation" anytime they want and will watch him if I have to go out of town and can't take him with me. It was a mutual decision, but I know that Nick knows how much his "peeps" love him whether he lives with them or not! :-)
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